Isolation Diaries: Ep. 3 – Self Doubt

Hey guys,

I hope that you are all having the best week full of love, health and happiness !!

I’ve actually had a pretty horrid week but I am doing my best to stay positive and remain optimistic. I’ve channeled all my energy into writing so I have a few posts lined up that I can’t wait to share with you all.

Anyway, onto today’s post. I wanted to continue with this series as it’s something that is so real to all of us. I’ve noticed that I have become so much more sensitive since isolation. I’ll tell you something I think I’ve cried more over the past few months than I have ever cried in my life. But we power through. One of the hardest things that I’ve had to deal with during isolation is self doubt.

I guess it’s because I have so much more time to overthink every single situation and equally I didn’t think it was something I’d ever have to deal with. Pre Covid, I was completely confident in my abilities and experience. I knew that the right opportunity would find me and I had faith, faith in the world aligning but more importantly faith in myself. I think this all changed when the job hunt commenced. Due to redundancies and other circumstances, I felt that I was thrown into a pool of thousands of applicants with more experience than I had. I started doubting every single aspect of myself. I doubted if I was good enough, if I was even suited to law and the legal industry etc.

Being honest, I lost a huge part of myself.

I was frantically applying for jobs that I in fact didn’t want, just to say that I had a job. I realise now how dangerous and completely outrageous that was. After a prep talk by my much loved parents, I sat back and focused on other tasks I had to complete. Since doing that, opportunities have in fact found me and I finally feel as though the stars are aligning.

So, with all this in mind I think that the point to take away from today’s post is to have patience. Don’t take the first job that comes your way and equally don’t apply for jobs in areas that you aren’t interested in or don’t want. When I realised that life is not normal at the moment and that these times really are unprecedented, I cut myself some slack and relaxed. I am beginning to believe in myself again. But, don’t be fooled. This really did take time. I was soo close to packing in law but I am thankful that people made me see that law really is the only career for me and I truly am suited to it.

It’s hard to understand that people’s lives outside social media are not perfect in any stretch. People portray an idealistic version of themselves and I think that might be because it’s their only escape from the real world. At the moment, I have good weeks and I have bad ones. Somedays I doubt myself more than others and some days I feel like the world is against me. But, that is exactly what LE is about. I really try and share the challenges I faced and continue to face with you all and not always focus on an idealistic version of myself.

In a few years you will know all of my secrets hahaha

Finally, if you are lucky enough to have extra free time at the moment use it to better yourself. Rest, rejuvenate and love the smaller things in life, like seeing your family or having a lie in. When a job finally does come around, you will be your best self and a much more valuable asset to any company lucky enough to have you.

Until next time,

Evangeline.

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